Hi, this is Trez Ibrahim from Life Mastery Solution, and I wanted to share with you something that came up a couple of days ago.
I was asked to do a presentation for a group, and there were a couple of amazing young women that came up to me, and they had studied psychology, so they were very interested in the work I do, and the mindset, and the emotional release work that I do with my clients, and the high performance, you know, how do you create success? And, one of the things one girl asked, was, you know, she knows that she’s responsible for her experience in life, and, she didn’t know how to turn things around, when things didn’t quite go as she wanted.
It’s, she was talking about being in reactive mode. And, constant reacting to life, and constantly reacting to issues and problems, and how do you gain that control over your response, so that you start to live deliberately, and live with intention? Because, I’m always talking about living with intention, living on purpose, making a choice, and empowering choice in your life that will support your dreams, and will support your goals, and keep you in alignment with who you are, and who you choose to be, who you choose to step into. And, what I told her is, it’s a process, and the fact that you’re asking the question means that you’re already there. And so,
I wanted to share with you what I shared with her. If you’re watching this, that tells me that you’re already there as well. Now, here’s what happens. A situation might have occurred today. Well, let’s just go to the past. I’m sure you’ve had situations where years later, you’re still ruminating over what happened, what should have happened, what should not have happened, how things should have gone differently. You might be be beating yourself up, or you might in the past beat yourself up. And, really regretted some of the things you did, things you said. I know in my first marriage, I, for a while, I constantly went over, what did I do? What could I have done differently? What could I have learned? How could I have responded or reacted? Not reacted, but responded differently.
How could I have acted differently? And, just the fact that you are in that place where you are looking at what worked for you and what doesn’t work for you, and then, starting to make some different decisions in the future, is the beginning of living an intentional life. Living with awareness, making conscious choices of how you want to show up for your life. ‘Cause, then, what happens, is, fast forward, something may happen today that triggers me, that angers me, that upsets me, and maybe a week or two down the road, you start to think about, well, maybe I shouldn’t have said that, maybe I shouldn’t have said this. Maybe I could have not taken it so personally.
Let’s say I’m in a disagreement with my spouse, or you’re, or in a disagreement with somebody, something happens to me, that, you know, I’m in traffic. And, I get riled up, and I snap at my son, or whatever it is. And then, you go into, not regret, because I don’t believe in regret, but there is a level of, you know, probably shouldn’t have gotten so triggered. And so, week later, you realize that there are other choices you have on how to respond. And, it’s not about beating yourself up, but it’s about realizing, oh, okay, I can see this situation differently. And, in that moment, you kind of set up a trigger, a program, for how you’re going to respond in the future. So, tomorrow, or, let’s say, next week, the same situation might happen.
I get into a situation with my spouse, or hit traffic, or, something I was expecting didn’t come on time, whatever my trigger is, and, you know, I may have reacted in an inappropriate way, or gotten angry, or, a button was pushed. And then, perhaps instead of waiting a week to figure out and to reassess, and to look at maybe some of the things that I did that I shouldn’t have done. Or, maybe look at, oh, I had some options that I could have responded differently. Instead of waiting a week, I maybe, perhaps the next day I start to reflect on my response, and start to decide, you know, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so triggered, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so upset, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up over that situation.
I should have done something different. And, what happens, again, if you remain conscious, you remain aware, you remain open to the opportunities that the situation brings up for you, then, the next time the situation comes up, you know, it may take you an hour. I come home sometimes, and I snap at my son, and, an hour later, I’m like, maybe I shouldn’t have snapped, maybe I was just tired or cranky or whatever, and really, taking out the trash isn’t a big deal. And, so, I kind of look at maybe I should have asked nicely, Maybe I should have been a little more helpful. Maybe I should have used my words better. And, so, it just took me an hour, then, to look at, you know, what I could have done differently. And, when you continue to train yourself to be reflective, and look at how you are getting triggered, and how you’re responding, then, what happens is, you start to stay in the moment, and so, eventually, what happens, is, I may hear myself get triggered, and in the moment, I’m hearing myself getting triggered, and I’m like, okay, Trez.
You’re about to say something, and you know where this road’s gonna lead you. And so, at this moment you have a choice. And, this is all happening at supercharged speed. It’s, I have, in that moment I have a choice. I can go down this road, and I know where that’s gonna lead, or, I can be more aware, be more conscious, be more positive, be more reflective, look at what’s being triggered in me, and, how do I choose to respond in this moment? What words do I want to say? What actions do I want to take? Do I want to breathe? Sometimes that’s all it takes for me, is I just need to breathe, and so, what you’ve done, is, you’ve shortened this time from taking years to figure out what you did wrong, and again, there’s no right or wrong, so I’m just using this kind of loosely, ’cause everything is in service of our evolution.
Everything that happens to us happening for us, through us, is really there to allow us to grow. But, just play with me for a second. But, so, I, what was I saying? So just, so, it may take us years to reflect, and figure out, okay, you know what? I kind of made, I shouldn’t have done that, that just wasn’t cool. I got triggered, maybe I had this hot button, and then, that time shrinks, so now it might take me a month or two to look at how I spoke to my spouse, or my son, or my employee, or to the person that made a mistake at the grocery store, and then, it might take me a couple days, and then a day, and then maybe an hour, and then, what happens, is, in the moment, as you’re getting triggered, as things are happening, things slow down. And, you start to be in more control of your thoughts.
And you start to be more in front of the choices you have, and all of the sudden, now you’ve got a myriad of choices, because you’ve taken the time to reflect, and, in that moment, responding means you’re choosing the best thing that’s for the highest good of everybody concerned. So, again, there is no regret, and there is no beating yourself up, it’s understanding that anytime you reflect on what you’ve done, you can shorten that span, just by your consciousness, just by your awareness, just by allowing yourself to do that self inquiry, to ask yourself, what’s going on with me, in this moment? And, if it takes a year, and then you shrink it down to six months, and then three months, and then a month, and a week, a day, that’s all good. That is all good. So, I hope this was helpful to you, I hope this provided value to you.
Please let me know what you think, please like, share, subscribe, and I will see you soon. Bye-bye.